This is how I feel tonight.

It has been a month now since I arrived back in the States and I haven't yet written in my blog for a variety of reasons. I wasn't quite sure how to even begin describing all of my feelings about being back home. I was also very busy getting my applications sent out for graduate programs and wasn't able to focus on much else. On top of this, I had shipped a large box home from Italy with many important possessions that never made it onto US soil. I must admit, I have been very stressed over the past month and haven't been handling it very well. There are so many things that are hanging in the air for me at this moment; there is really no telling how they will fall. Because of this, I have complained...to several close people in my life. Today, however, God has been humbling me and teaching me (yet again) to keep faith through every situation. Through this faith and complete trust in Him, we can handle anything that comes our way with dignity and praise for the Almighty, not complaints.

I had an amazing night of worshipping God tonight back in Nashville at Fellowship Bible Church and realized once again how very blessed I am. God is so good and has reminded me of that time and time again. It's amazing that I still find myself sometimes doubting what God is working in my life. My good friends and I were able to lift each other up in prayer and I'm so thankful for that. Showing love to others, and loving well, is my goal. How could I possibly do that if I am being controlled by my complaints against where God has currently placed me?

To pull a quote from the Oscars tonight: "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." Lena Horne

Ps... at least there is one happy ending so far. My box, after having circled throughout Italy and eventually being marked as containing 'dangerous materials', finally made it back to it's origin: Alba, Italy. Yep, it's safely in the hands of the shipper now. So at least I know who has it, and I should be able to reclaim my things one day soon. Note to self: do not ship finger nail polish overseas.